Few passages in Scripture create as much tension as Ephesians 5:22:
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”
For many, the word submission immediately feels outdated, oppressive, or even dangerous. And in some contexts, it has absolutely been misused and weaponized.
But what does biblical submission actually mean?
Let’s slow down and look carefully.
What Submission Is Not
Before defining submission, we need to clarify what it is not.
Biblical submission is not:
- Blind obedience
- Losing your voice or identity
- Tolerating abuse or sin
- Inferiority
- Passive silence
Scripture is clear that both husband and wife are made in the image of God. Submission does not mean lesser value. It reflects different roles within the covenant of marriage.
Why Context Matters (Read the Whole Passage)
Ephesians 5 doesn’t start with wives.
Just before this section, Paul writes:
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
And immediately after, husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
That’s the bar.
If you read “wives submit” without “husbands die to yourselves,” you will misunderstand the entire structure.
So What Is Biblical Submission?
Submission in marriage is:
- A willing posture of trust
- An active role, not a passive one
- Respecting God’s design
- Supporting your husband’s leadership
- Ultimately, an act of worship to Christ
It is not about worshiping your husband.
It is about honoring Christ through obedience to His design.
As 1 Peter 3 explains, a wife’s conduct can even influence an unbelieving husband toward Christ.
Submission is spiritual, not merely relational.
What Does Submission Look Like on a Tuesday?
Not in theory. Not in a theology book.
On a normal Tuesday.
Here are practical expressions:
1. Respecting Your Husband with Your Words
How do you speak to him?
How do you speak about him?
Respect is often most visible in tone, sarcasm, and private conversations.
2. Being His Greatest Encourager
Submission includes strengthening, not cutting down.
When he fails? Encourage growth.
When he tries? Affirm effort.
When he feels burdened? Remind him of who he is.
3. Having Hard Conversations with Grace
Submission does not mean silence.
You can:
- Call out sin
- Ask for repentance
- Seek help
- Set boundaries when necessary
But the posture matters.
Grace matters.
4. Guarding the Temperature of the Home
Wives carry immense influence.
Submission means using that influence to build up the home rather than control or manipulate it.
5. Trusting God with the Outcome
At its core, submission is faith.
You are trusting that:
- God sees.
- God judges rightly.
- God holds your husband accountable.
- God’s design is for your good.
Is Submission Supposed to Feel Easy?
No.
Just as husbands are called to self-sacrificial love, wives are called to surrender control.
Both cut against the grain of our flesh.
Christian marriage is not about comfort.
It is about sanctification.
The Beautiful Exchange
Here is the picture Ephesians paints:
- The husband bears the weight of leadership and will answer for how he led.
- The wife supports and strengthens that leadership.
- Each seeks the other’s good.
- Both reflect Christ and the church.
Marriage works best when each spouse is more concerned with the other’s spiritual flourishing than with their own comfort.
That’s the gospel on display.
Your One Degree Shift This Week
Wives, ask your husband:
“In what one area do you need me to trust you more?”
Then listen.
No defensiveness.
No qualifications.
Just listen.
Small shifts compound over time.
If you want a marriage that reflects Christ, it starts with obedience in the small, ordinary moments.
+ show Comments
- Hide Comments
add a comment