I had a lot of expectations for my postpartum self.

I expected to jump back into work right away, because I love my work.

I expected to still prioritize waking up early and having coffee and appreciating mornings every day.

I expected to stay on top of all my relationships and not let text messages and DMs go unread for days. ⠀⠀

If postpartum were solely about my physical recovery from birth, I’d probably be meeting all my expectations. But God’s been teaching me that that’s such a sliver of this postpartum journey. ⠀⠀
It’s about my physical recovery, but also about getting used to the newness of my body providing and sustaining life for this human that it worked nine months to grow. It’s about my heart and emotions expanding to capacitate a depth of love they’ve never experienced before –– and a lot of times that looks like staring into the eyes of this little human, thinking back on all that I worried about for nine months while I couldn’t see her, and being humbled by God’s faithfulness—all while her little onesie collects my warm tears.

It’s about the sanctifying realization that my time and my plans are not my own anymore. They never really were, they’ve always been God’s, but somehow he’s really driven that point home using this little nine pound nugget’s life.

It’s about learning that my mission in this season isn’t to complete my to-do list or hit all my goals for myself, but to grow into this role of motherhood, accepting and being thankful for the growing pains as they come. ⠀⠀
So to all the new mamas out there who had the big expectations for themselves—you’re not alone. But let’s all soak up the newness, find joy in the becoming and not the arrival, and snuggle our babes a little longer.